What we think

As I sit here watching the news that show billions of dollars spent so far in the holiday rush while at the same time desicussing the looming possibility of rising taxes with the upcoming fiscal cliff I start to wonder, what are our perceptions of reality? Now this might just be me but I have come to know that we all do not live on one rational plain. How do I know this? Because I am part of a couple.

All of you out there who have a long term partnership will know what this means. In their world  your eating habits are strange, in yours it's unhygienic to eat the piece of the French fry that touches your fingers. I your world The Hobbit is just a book, that you never read, while in theirs it's a family obsession. (yes these are real quirks) but what to do when the perceptions become deeper?

Here we enter the real issue, what do you do when the real world is to honest?

If you have ever experienced a physical disability or "visible" illness you will understand, for those of you who don't know this is any of those illnesses that make you stop and do a double take in a public place maybe with a " wow they look bad"  or " what do you think they have?" thrown in. Dont shrink behind your monitor you know you have done this at least one. And you know what? For the most part the person you talked about could hear you, yes they could, and they just didnt care. 

It happens, we get used to it, and we tone you out. because that's the code right? People will look, point, mutter, and stare. You will pretend not to see. There are lines of course, socially expectable harmless stupid comments and questions vs. the ones you never ask. 
Example: wow does that hurt? (you might want to give a snide comment but they ask because there worried and curious) Vs.   Man that looks like shit! You shouldn't go out like that, it looks like it hurts. (this person can be given the snide comment)

But the major taboo holds. Never talk to someone about a sick friend or relative, with them in the room, as though that person is not there. And while we might know the worst that those around us might think. 

Example: Mother to son dating a chronicle Ill girl: are you sure this is a good idea? I mean there are so many girls out there that aren't this much work! What are you getting into? ( don't laugh this happened to a friend) 

While we might know the though exists and even except it, wonder it deep down ourselves, what happens when the golden rule is broken and these things a said in front of the person in question? Can you come back from that?